


Sweet Symphony

by the_lie_eternal



Category: Auf Streife, Auf Streife: Die Spezialisten
Genre: Angst, Brother AU, Childhood Trauma, Coping, Crying, Guns, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Police, coping with death of their parents, emergency doctor, forbidden relationship, happy end, this fic plays in 2011 or something probably, young Moritz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:26:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26419462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_lie_eternal/pseuds/the_lie_eternal
Summary: "I can give you this Sweet Symphony and I hope it makes you feel fine - and it's all that you can get from me, it will always be by your side." (Sunrise Avenue)Moritz is in his 3rd and last year of police school. His dream, becoming a policeman, was now almost in reach - wouldn't there be that "little" happening 12 years ago that left Moritz and his brother Linus scarred for their lifetimes.
Relationships: Moritz Breuer & Linus Hoffmann, Moritz Breuer/Arne Schneider
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Sweet Symphony

Staring out of the car window made me think of my final exam coming up in a handful of months, the moment I had been waiting for not only three years of intense training but more like the whole past 23 years of my life. I wasn't scared of it, I knew that I was doing well and except some nitpicky things by the colleague sitting behind the steering wheel next to me, there had been no reasons why I would not pass. The only thing that stood between me and my graduation was the fact I would have to hide my relationship until my very first official day at work at least - he wasn't just a simple colleague, another of countless policemen. He was my adviser, my support through all my practical experiences at this department, the man closest to me during my whole training, next to my best friend Jonas of course.

_I already knew how hard I fell for him when I looked into his soft blue eyes for the first time. It felt wrong right from the first second, the first handshake and the first time I hugged him as we grew closer. Arne quickly picked up all the small hints I unconsciously gave to him, after all he already had been a policeman for longer than a decade and knew how to read people. Thus came the moment when an exhausting afternoon of project work for police school at Arne's small shaggy apartment turned into confessions of love, awkward first kisses and the mere fact that an adviser and his student fell in love with each other and nobody would be allowed to know about it._

_No exceptions allowed, we agreed, yet there was one person who had to know about it, if Arne wanted it or not._

_Linus, my older brother. He had just turned 22 when it happened, taking a vacation at home from his exhausting studies at the medical university. He tried his best to cover my innocent eyes at the age of 11, yet the shots and screams still rang in my dreams, every single night. He was all the family I still had left and keeping secrets from each other was something that simply didn't exist in our lives. We both knew his life would had been much easier without having to raise his own little brother all by himself while handling medical studies that should had actually been his main priority. Still, Linus became a well-graded doctor and I became half of a policeman through the years. I still didn't know where my wish to become one actually came from - it definitely weren't the deafening gunshots I heard 12 years ago._

"That could've become really nasty, Moritz. Sometimes it's much better to get your gun right away, that woman was actively trying to kill you." Tom hissed, eyes fixed on the road in front of him. I could already see our department building in the distance, finally I could get a moment to breathe. I didn't reply to my colleagues statement, he didn't know about my past after all. Tom shot her in the leg after minutes of hesitating when she began charging at me with the knife. I had been frozen in place, not knowing what to do. I didn't even think about touching my gun, it didn't even exist for me.

"Then again, it probably isn't nice for your record to talk yourself out of your reasons why you had to injure this person, but you didn't even grab your gun, you aren't allowed to have blackouts, Moritz!" Tom continued, finally parking off in front of the huge police department.

"I have my reasons." I muttered, grabbing my utensils without batting an eye on my colleague before walking up the stairs to our entrance where my best friend was sitting. We were the only two cadets at this Inspection, switching through patrol duty and inside duty. I greeted Jonas, he was visibly glad to see me alive and well after he heard what was going on through the transmission.

I forced a smile for my adviser who stood in the hallway, talking to Florian - Jonas' adviser - about a case that was probably going on behind their office doors. I saw how Arne wanted to take time for me, but I brushed him off, I could wait until he was done with his current work. Waiting until Tom too entered the department, he told me he would write the report for this case as exception, I could get myself a coffee and relax.

I caught myself counting down the seconds on the clock of my phone, tightly wrapping my fingers around the warm cup. It was one of these moments where I wished to just go home whenever I felt down but I couldn't do that. I'm a policeman, I can't be weak, I can't let my own problems interfere with my job.

"Time won't pass faster if you stare it down, little one." a familiar voice reached my ears and I cursed internally. Of course, it was his duty to take care of me but I knew that some other colleague just had a talk with him and I would have to explain myself.

"What happened, why are you down?" Arne placed his hands on my shoulders, gently massaging them. We were well aware of the fact that anything more than that was an absolute no-go but still he somehow wanted to comfort me.

"Was it a mistake to become a policeman? Is it mandatory to shoot at people in this job?" I muttered, storing my phone into my jacket again. I heard a chuckle coming from behind me before Arne's head appeared in my view as he leaned over my shoulder.

"Tom is stubborn, you know that. I think I know who can help you, keep your Wednesday evening free, I'm going to prepare something for that matter." Arne smiled, his adorable face made me melt.

"If you say so." was everything I replied, receiving a strong pat on my shoulder.

"Stay strong, little one. Weapon use is not a daily business, luckily. Now go, Tom cooled down a bit and I promise that the rest of your shift will be better." my partner comforted me, visibly fighting the want to kiss me before turning around to leave the kitchen. A deep sigh left my throat before I stored my empty cup in the dishwasher and headed onto the hallway where my colleague was already waiting for me, now smiling again.

Brothers communicated without words, even more when you went through hell together, so I didn't even have to explain why I almost broke down crying as soon as I closed the front door behind me. I had been lucky that Linus wasn't on shift, everything I needed in this moment was the most important person in my life next to me. The sounds of my knees crashing onto the wooden floor and my pained sobs alarmed him and in a second I felt two arms around me which were pulling me against a comfortable and warm body.

"Sweet summer child, it's okay pup." Linus' gentle voice was soothing in a way, but as much as I needed this comfort, the whole situation of us both sitting on the floor together just reminded me more of the reason why I was crying in the first place.

_I had just been playing around with my matchbox cars in our living room, waiting for Linus to join me as he promised earlier, our parents were seen working in the kitchen which was directly connected to the living room._

_"Hey pup, I have a present for you." my brother chuckled as he approached me, holding out his hand with a mysterious box in his palms. I became excited, thanking him as I ripped open the box just to reveal a fancy small police car, perfectly fitting into my collection._

_I held it tight, even hours later my hand was still cramped around it when I was in hospital and only let it go once I passed out caused by exhaustment in my brother's arms._

"I can't shoot at people, why does nobody understand that! Why am I forced to destroy people on purpose?" I sobbed, searching for more comfort as I leaned against Linus' shoulder.

"I don't think that they force you. It's not easy to understand for them why you're reacting like this, and why you would rather take a bullet than giving one." he calmly stated, slowly soothing my breakdown.

"In my dreams, I see it. Every single night." I sniveled, not noticing how my fingers became blue from burying them in my brother's arms.

"Get on your legs, pup. Let's get you comfortable." he hummed, gently pulling me back onto my feet to lead me towards my room. I felt so incredibly vulnerable and weak in this moment - I was a grown adult whose job was it to spread safety and now that my big brother had to help me change clothes, and bury me in a hug once we were sitting on my bed, I felt horrible. A broken man, that's what I was. Impossible to repair.

We sat there for quite some time, none of us saying anything. Linus had been caressing my hair, knowing that it would calm me down, connected with gentle brushes over my back with his hand. I was more than just thankful to have him, he was my everything.

"Arne is coming over after shift tomorrow, you okay with that?" I asked after a while when my heart was finally beating normally again and my face dried from all the tears.

"Of course, as long as you don't do any illegall stuff." Linus chuckled and gave me a soft smile. We took quite some path to end up with this topic being accepted to talk about. After all, Linus and Arne were more or less the same age and my brother too disliked the fact that my boyfriend was actually my adviser. Yet, as time passed and he couldn't stop me from falling deeper for my colleague he accepted it, at some point. As long as Arne would treat me well (which he did) and I was happy, Linus would be fine with it. I understood his concerns, my feelings and emotions were fragile and one playing with it would've possibly killed me.

Arne wasn't someone like this, he knew my borders and didn't play games with me - that's why I loved him so much.

All I did was listening to his calm and even breath as my head laid on his chest. I loved being close to him, even more after we spent the past hour in blissful intimacy, now laying in each other's arms to let the silence speak and our thoughts pass. I hated that Arne was my adviser - of all people I could've fallen in love with it had to be the man I was not allowed to date at any time. Still, moments like these were gold, when we could be ourselves as a couple, as two men being in love in a cruel world.

A knock against the door ripped me out of my trance. "Huh?" I replied.

I saw Linus' face popping through the gap as he opened it. "I'm so sorry to disturb you two but Moritz, I need to talk to you quickly." he said, visibly uncomfortable with the situation but it had to be important, else he wouldn't interrupt us. I nodded, now leaning onto my hands to face my boyfriend who smiled at me.

"Be right back." I whispered, leaning in to press my lips on his just to drown into a kiss that was supposed to be shorter but I couldn't resist him. It was Arne who gently pushed me away, too whispering in a chuckle "Go, he's waiting."

Dizzily I stepped out of my room, only wearing some sweatpants but my brother wouldn't mind that.

"Again, sorry to disturb, it's not really dramatic tho." Linus explained, I leaned against the wall to have at least some hold.

"It's alright, we're in the aftermath anyway." I smirked with a raised brow, making my brother laugh.

"Just wanted to tell you that I got a call, for this and next week I probably got to do double-shifts and be on emergency service. So, I won't be home much and probably only when you're on duty by yourself. Why I'm telling you is that I feel you're going through a tough time again - if you need help, go to Arne or visit me at the hospital. In emergencies you can also always call me, I'm always there for you. You understand that?" Linus now grabbed my shoulders, looking me in the eye as the caring brother he was. I nodded, wrapping my arms around him to pull him into a hug.

"Thank you." I muttered into his shoulder, not wanting our hug to end as it filled me with the feeling I loved so much.

"Nothing to thank me for, pup. I think your boyfriend misses you already." Linus smirked as we unwrapped from each other, his hand messing up my anyway ruined hair.

"You know that if I had to choose between my brother or my boyfriend I wouldn't hesitate a second to be on your side. You're leaving now already?" I patted his shoulder, finally letting go of him.

"Nothing can part us, that's true. I'll leave in about an hour. Stay safe, pup." Linus stated, giving me a last smile before going his way and I would return to my room.

_"You can't take him away from me, don't you dare traumatizing a broken child even more by taking him the last relative he has!" Linus was heard shouting, strongly holding me against himself, not even thinking about letting me go. I tried to cover my ears, concentrating on my tears rather than the fight between my brother and the people from the youth welfare office._

_"Sir, it would be the best for-" the strangers' voices tried to calm Linus but he wasn't having any of that._

_"The best for him is staying with me, I will take him to Cologne with me! I am a grown adult, literally his brother, I can take care of him much better than some unmotivated social worker!" My brother was mad. I knew that he would never give me away, that they would have to take me from his dead hands._

_"Moritz needs professional help, that little guy saw things no 11 year old should see!" the male voice now became louder, I clenched my fingers into Linus' leg._

_"Do you think that I don't know that? We both saw things that no child should see happen to their parents, that doesn't keep me from raising him and finding help for him by myself! He's my brother, my blood, my life! I am the one to know what's best for him - which is not your questionable methods!" my brother hissed, how grabbing my fragile small body to carry me in his arms. I buried my face in his shoulder, hoping that we would leave this place as soon as possible._

_"Bye, gentlemen." Linus growled, stomping out of the hospitals' hallway. He only let go of me once we arrived back at his car, helping me onto the passenger seat._

_"It's time for you to see what I've been doing for all these years, huh pup?" Linus smiled at me as he started his car, grabbing the little police car that fell onto the floor to give it to me before he headed to our not-anymore-home._

_"Cologne? What's Cologne?" I sniveled, eyeing the matchbox car in awe._

_"A beautiful city, the capital of our state. You will stay with me, nothing can part us, alright?" he now looked at me as the car stood at a red light. I nodded wildly, receiving a smile and a hand brushing through my short blonde hair._

I sighed as I closed the door behind me, Arne still laying in my bed, dedicated to his phone until he spotted me again.

"Bad news?" he sat up, holding out his hands so I would crawl onto the bed again and into his arms. I needed it, so I followed his demand to end up laying on top of him again.

"No, Linus got a call that he's got to do emergency service for this and next week, which basically means that I won't see him much at home. That happened before, of course, but in this state of mind of mine I hope nothing bad will happen." I rambled, leaning on my forearms to be face to face with my partner, letting my finger slowly run over his stubbly beard.

"You can always come to me if something troubles you, anytime." Arne whispered, giving me goosebumps as I felt his hands caressing the skin on my back.

"He said that too, that I should either reach out for you or visit Linus in the hospital. I hope I don't need either, someday I have to learn to care for myself too." I chuckled, even though I felt everything but happy in this moment.

"It's okay to reach out for help, Mo." he murmured, making me shiver as I heard him saying my name. "You and me, your brother, our colleagues, anyone you know - we are all just fragile human beings. Asking for help is not considered weak, it's a sign of strength to reach out. Don't forget that."

I had to smile as I heard his words, leaning in to thank him with a handful kisses. My heart felt light for as long as I was close to him. I could do it, I could handle it. If not, I could ask for help.

Wednesday evening, I was walking down the crowded streets of Cologne together with Jonas to find the bar Arne had been trying to describe, where the thing he prepared for me was waiting. I didn't know what would happen but Jonas had been allowed to accompany me, so it wouldn't be something concerning Arne and my relationship.

Entering the described building as we finally found it, I breathed up as the surprise was only yet another colleague sitting next to my adviser.

"Hi, I'm Stephan Sindera, 39 years old and single." my colleague introduced himself as we greeted each other

"Stephan I know who you are - wait, you're single? Really?" I rolled my eyes, raising my brows as I realized what he had said.

"Of course I am, just look at me." Stephan smirked, receiving a sigh from my friend.

"You look like a person that wouldn't be single, actually." Jonas stated. Arne and I shared a quick look, oh how I wanted to kiss him again but that would've killed us in public. Instead, I felt his shoes gently brushing against mine - at least some body contact.

"We are not here to discuss our relationship statuses, right?" Arne took the word, taking the massive tension out of the conversation as I hoped they wouldn't ask us about our individual love lifes. Jonas thought that I was single, Stephan thought that Arne was single - we wanted to keep it this way.

"Alright, Mo. You're probably wondering why I brought Stephan, our colleague, but he can talk by himself about this matter, so." Arne explained, patting said man's shoulder.

"I mean, it's low-key making a round that you have an issue to use your gun against people. Don't think I want to call you out on this now, no." Stephan stated, receiving raised eyebrows of me. This wasn't an ideal point of my mental state where I would want to approach this issue but I couldn't get out of it anymore anyways.

"Yeah." I sighed, covering my face in my palms. I was glad that I had Jonas and Arne with me, both knew what to do when I built up a panic attack - which might happen if Stephan would say the wrong things.

"I heard what Tom keeps saying after every patrol he does with you, it always makes me shake my head, you know? I've been in the police business for two decades now, Moritz, and in all these years I used my gun just once." Stephan stated calmly and I looked up to him, visible confusion playing in my eyes. My colleagues eyes suddenly didn't seem as cold as usual anymore ... they looked soft and caring, a side I had never seen of him.

"I don't know what happened to you but I want you to know that you're not alone. You don't need to be a heartless killer machine to become a policeman. If Tom - hell, if anyone ever complains about you and your issue ever again, ask them why they tolerate me but won't make an effort to give the same to you. Okay?" Stephan told, leaving our group in an uncomfortable silence. All six eyes were focused on me now, unconsciously I grabbed my best friend's arm.

"My parents got shot in front of my eyes." I muttered after painful minutes of nothing, receiving a nod from Stephan. He didn't ask further, he didn't feel sorry for me and most of all he accepted the mere fact as reason for my part-pacifism - that calmed me so much that I could even let go of Jonas again.

I just walked past one of the offices while on inside duty as I heard my name being spoken, coming from nobody else but Tom Mayer himself. I stopped at the doorway, eavesdropping the conversation between him and my adviser.

"You know that I am not a wild shooter and I don't like weapon use either but have you ever encountered situations in which you'd wish that the cadet takes more initiative to defend himself?" Tom hissed.

"Moritz knows how to defend himself, trust me." Arne sighed, audibly tired of the conversation.

"I've been on countless patrols with both of them and let me tell you, I feel much safer with Jonas. I don't think that Moritz is quite ready yet for his thesis, be honest!" Tom now raised his voice again and it made me shiver.

"You shouldn't compare Jonas and Moritz, colleague. You don't know what this young man had to endure in his short life already." my adviser began sounding mad, I guessed that to be the right moment for me to step between them, de-escalating the situation.

"Maybe he chose the wrong profession with this state of mind!" Tom countered and that's where I showed myself as I walked through the door.

"Maybe you should overthink the way you treat young cadets, Tom." I stated, crossing my arms as I stood in front of him, my colleague being visibly startled by my sudden appearance.

"How come you have absolutely no problem with Stephan - who has been your colleague for ages and never shot a gun - but you curse me with every single word just because I chose not to use my gun?" I exclaimed, expectedly looking into a face slowly filling with regret. I wouldn't want this conversation to continue, so after a quick change of looks with Arne I turned and left the room to continue my walk.

_I got used to cry my eyes out every night pretty fast, it became normality that I coped my pain with tears. However, seeing Linus crying was something that I almost never encountered in my young life, so I was quite confused as I walked past his bedroom, hearing painful sobs coming out of it._

_"Linus?" I asked, carefully pushing open the door to see my brother sitting on his bed, his face covered in his palms yet his whole arms were soaked in tears already. He didn't react to me saying his name, several times. I was still too young to understand that Linus was having a panic attack, I just thought that he cried just like me, casually._

_I approached him, doing the mistake of trying to touch his shoulder, immediately receiving a painful hit against my small body which threw me off my legs._

_I was supposed to be mad at Linus but when he took away his hands, when I looked into his bloodshot eyes and his swollen face from all the tears I couldn't move nor think anymore._

_"You ... should ... go." he growled and actually I would never disobey Linus but in this moment I had to approach him a second time, now immediately wrapping my arms around him to hold him tight. He tried to fight against my grip but even at this young age I was already stronger than him, and quickly he stopped his movements and instead too gently hugged me. His body began shaking heavily as he becan crying even harder than before, yet as that wave was over, my brother became calm again - and was ashamed about himself._

_I never understood why Linus had been ashamed because of his panic attacks ... until I slipped into my own first, the beginning of a painful decade which was still holding on._

I found myself laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling in silence. Everything seemed calm, I knew what usually would happen once my body decided to shut down.

"Pup? Moritz?" hearing the familiar voice of my brother through the phone made me smile as the clenching feel of something in my lungs creeped up to me. I began breathing heavier, the panic crawling into my head. I couldn't speak, gasping into the speaker to make my brother understand that I needed help.

"Stay where you are, I'm coming as fast as I can. Keep breathing, keep breathing." Linus exclaimed immediately hanging up, leaving me in silence again.

A sharp pain shot into my back, cramping me all up and I was glad to be on my bed for this. I hated it, I deeply hated it.

When I opened my eyes again I looked into a pair of glassy blue ones, those pretty eyes of my brother who was holding me in his arms. My whole body was hurting, as always when I "returned" from one of my infamous panic attacks.

"You've never cramped this long when I was with you, I'm quite worried about that." Linus whispered as he brushed the blonde strands out of my sweaty face.

"I'm okay." I replied, feeling my sore throat from the shortness of breath I had just minutes ago. While Linus usually coped by crying on for hours and hours, I happened to show my panic attacks in painful seizures. I could technically handle them on my own, yet there was always a small chance that I would just stop breathing at some point, so having someone supervise me was always a good thing - having a doctor supervising me was even better.

"I can call an ambulance and we can check you up at the hospital." Linus suggested, only now did I notice that he was wearing his emergency doctor uniform.

I shook my head, repeating again that I was fine, just exhausted.

"Should I tell Arne, at least?" he asked further, making me shiver.

"No, it's okay. I got to rest." I huffed and Linus nodded. I loved Arne, of course, and he wanted to know whenever I had a panic attack and I respected that ... yet at times I didn't really feel like burying him in my problems even more.

It took me and my brother some more minutes, obviously he wanted to make sure that I wasn't slipping into a second attack, yet I was this much exhausted from the first one that all I thought of was sleeping, nothing more.

I couldn't concentrate at all when Arne was giving his comments on my thesis as he read the whole thing. Not only had I been exhausted from the workday, the aftermath of the panic attack still sat in my bones. I was well aware that Arne wasn't stupid and knew that I was feeling shit. We were both sitting on the couch in his small shaggy flat, I really wished to be somewhere else but I couldn't change it.

"That's really good, I really don't have anything more to correct. You should let Linus proofread again and then you're good to go." my adviser nodded, placing the stack of paper on the desk before looking at me with his gorgeous pair of eyes.

"Thank you, I'm glad it's finally done." I muttered, shifting a bit closer towards my partner.

"And now you'll explain why you're not telling me that you had a seizure. I'm not stupid, Mo." Arne's face became serious all of a sudden, yet I still felt his hand gently brushing over my arm, giving me goosebumps.

"I ... I just ... I'm such a burden to you, I didn't want you to worry about me even more." I murmured, trying to lose myself in his eyes but I was too tense for that, scared that Arne would be angry with me now. "Please, don't be mad." I added in a whisper, receiving a faint smile to my surprise.

"I'm not mad, don't worry. I'm just concerned about your health, you're not a burden to me either. True that, a boyfriend without PTSD would be easier but I chose you and I don't regret any bit of my decision." he muttered, now gently brushing his fingers over my forehead and through my hair while pulling me even closer.

"Stop it, I know you'd be better off without me." I sobbed, now being pulled into a strong hug.

"Don't say that, Moritz." Arne hissed and I shivered as he called me by my whole name. "You deserve love just like anyone else seeking for it and I would probably end up in another toxic relationship if it weren't for you, the most perfect partner I ever got to date."

I didn't reply, shifting my head so I could look into his face again. _He meant it._

His lips on mine tasted like heaven, our tongues fighting in the name of love was more than just hot and I didn't even notice how I was rubbing myself against him, sitting on his lap. I ignored my sore muscles as we slowly got rid of our clothes, for as long as I could feel Arne with all my senses. The taste of his mouth, the touch of his muscular arms, the smell of hot air around us, hearing his muffled moans against my chest and most of all seeing my partner so vulnerable yet strong at the same time - I needed it, much more than I wished for.

I found myself laying on his torso, listening to his gentle breath as he was caressing my arms, shoulders and back with his hands.

"Soon you're going to be a policeman." he chuckled, making me raise my tired gaze.

"Are you sure about that?" I huffed, crawling upwards to have his face right below mine.

"One hundred percent, love. I'm so proud of you." he murmured, only waiting for me to kiss him again.

"We will see, maybe it will work out." I brushed my fingers over his beard, hesitating a few more seconds before I finall gave him the satisfaction of my lips on his.

It was rare that I got to be on a patrol with Florian - Jonas' adviser - but it had always been quite relaxed and calming, so I didn't expect anything else from this shift with him.

I remembered my words as we both were called to a known case of domestic violence, my colleague was familiar with the issue while I was not. Something thrilling at times was always welcome in the dull life of a police cadet.

The wooden door stood open, a well audible verbal fight ringing from inside. I took a deep breath, focusing on my work entirely while Florian checked his eyes with mine - talking without words was one of the talents every policeman had to have and I was just developing my understanding of it, yet I practiced often enough with Arne.

As we stepped inside the flat I immediately held my hand unconsciously onto my gun, seeing all the grocery bags thrown on the ground. I wasn't sure if it was hits that I heard but I was definitely sure that this guy would leave this flat handcuffed with a free ride to hotel Inspection 5. I gulped as I saw the mess in the living room, trying to make out the circumstances that led to this situation when I already heard a shout into my direction - and from there on everything went in slow motion.

The man spotted us, grabbing his partner in the next second just before pulling a gun out of his pocket to hold it against her head.

_"Ruthless murder, victims leave behind 22 and 11 year old sons. Late Friday evening, the family had been just celebrating their oldest sons achievements in his studies as an unknown criminal stormed the flat with a gun in his hand, leaving a massacre. The offender is suspected to be an old family friend, more the police can't say yet."_

_"Marike Hoffmann and Robert Breuer - will be missed at heart by all loved and close ones - faith and strength to Linus and Moritz."_

_I sighed as I placed the two cutouts from the newspaper back on the wall. Linus and I were not entirely sure why we kept them framed in our kitchen but none of us ever complained about it either. Said man was heard approaching from behind, laying his hands on my shoulders._

_"I'm so proud of you, pup." he muttered. Linus had always tried to replace our father, to give me a role model to look up to. He tried his best, I would never judge him for that._

_"Thanks." I replied silently, pinching the bridge of my nose with my fingers._

_"There's a letter from the police, Moritz. You have the spot." his voice sounded dull, almost fearful. I turned around, looking at him in disbelief. I would become a policeman just like I always wished to be ..._

"Police Cologne, down with that gun or I have to shoot you!" I shouted, my weapon firmly laying in my palms.

"You don't understand! She's a monster!" the man replied, his finger dangerously close to the trigger, twitching.

"This is my last warning!" I growled, placing my own finger on the cold metal trigger.

_A loud bang was heard._

The abusive man sank onto the ground, holding his leg in pain as the woman stormed towards me. I cradled her in my arms as she cried her eyes out, yet my mind rather belonged to the fact that I ... shot a person. Florian was already caring for the criminal, handcuffing him just as much as getting medical help for him.

"It's over, it's okay." I murmured, calming the victim who wouldn't let go of me ... with which I was totally fine in that moment. I shot a person - I did not kill a person - I saved a life without taking one.

It took me some time to realize and my mind went blank for the rest of the day. _I used my gun for the first time in my life as a policeman._

Florian didn't lose a word about it, he knew that this had been a life-changing moment for me yet he was also aware that I needed time to process everything. This was my fight, not his.

For the first time in over a decade it felt like coming home when I stepped through the front door of the house I was living in. I felt at ease, something calming inside of my chest as I stored away my uniform, switching into a simple shirt and sweats before I went looking for my brother. It was an odd feeling … like happiness but I haven't been happy since I was 11 years old, I simply forgot how it felt like.

"Moritz?" Linus asked as I placed myself on the couch. He could feel my changed mood right away, the smile playing on my lips told more than a million words could ever say.

I grinned, pulling him into a tight hug without saying something. He accepted it, of course, yet his questioning face finally wanted to hear a reason.

"Today ... Linus, today I saved the life of a young woman." I explained, well knowing that he himself saved lives every day so it wasn't something special. "I shot her abuser in the leg. He survived. I did not kill him, I used my gun for the first time in all this time being a cadet." it rushed out of me, the questioning gaze of the man in front of me slowly fading.

"You ..." he started, I furiously nodded.

"I'm finally starting to cope, my panic attacks will be history. Bullets don't always kill people, I experienced it. I saved a life ... without taking one!" I heavily breathed, feeling an arm wrapping around my shoulder.

"I'm proud of you ... I don't know what else to say ..." Linus muttered silently, his eyes visibly starting to tear up. It had always been his biggest dream to see me finally coping with the traumatic happening in our childhoods, he had never wished for anything else ever since.

"No no no, don't cry please!" I begged, cupping his cheeks with my hands. My brother smiled as single wet droplets rolled down his cheeks.

"The last time I saw you this happy was the moment I gifted you that tiny patrol car, pup. Give me this moment of joy, seeing my own little brother finding new strength to hold onto." he sobbed and soon we found each other in a tight hug again. I would trade the world for Linus, he was the most important thing I had in my life and I hoped that he knew that.

I could feel Arne's piercing gaze as I brushed out the last wrinkles in my uniform, viewing myself in the big mirror standing in my bedroom. The star on my shoulder looked quite intimidating, I felt like it was just yesterday when I had my first day at university. I saw my partner approaching from behind, he didn't wear his regular uniform but the fancy suit-like uniform every member of the police owned.

"You're so incredibly handsome, I almost want to get you out of these clothes right away again." he murmured into my ear as I felt his hands wrapping around my waist and right after his wet lips against my neck. I melted into his touch, enjoying a last calm moment before the stressful part of the day would start.

"Please ..." I huffed, grabbing his hands to entwine them with mine. "Look at yourself, pretty." I grinned, feeling how Arne gently shoved the collar of my shirt aside to place a hickey below it. I was glad to have a policeman as partner who knew exactly where he could mark me and where not.

I sighed, biting my lips when he was done and I could turn around, now standing face to face with him.

"I love you." I whispered as I brushed my hands through his hair and over his beard, hearing how Linus was ready waiting in the hallway for departure.

"I love you too, so fucking much." my partner replied, pulling me into the last gentle kiss for the next hours to come where we would be constantly close to each other but forbidden to exchange anything just remotely close to body contact. It would be okay.

Everything would change once I was in official police duty.

Jonas and I shared a smile as we stood next to each other, almost unbelievable that we went all this way together, never parting once. We both got a spot at Inspection 5, not entirely sure if the boss just liked us that much or if Arne and Florian had their fingers in that game - we were thankful nevertheless. Everything had been fine for that moment, knowing that Arne and my brother were there with me ... and my parents watching from wherever they went. They would be proud of me, unbelievable that a miserable child like me stood in front of a crowd one day, swearing to protect the law of my country in a real police uniform. I almost felt as if the weight of the world left my heart, just for a few blinks of an eye but long enough for me to rest in paradise.

I yawned as I parked my car in front of the department, I would never get used to the early shift. Linus had been awake as I left, being plagued by a cold for a handful of days already. I promised to bring him some new tea storage after my shift, already thinking about what I could torture him with. It brought a smile onto my face, yet my happy thoughts were soon interrupted by someone knocking against the window.

"Good morning!" Jonas grinned mischievous, coming from his shift just now. I jokingly growled at him as I lifted myself out of the car, being pulled into a hug right away though.

"Trust me, your day will become better once you go inside and look at the shifts for today. Have a calm one, I'll be off sleeping." he muttered into our hug.

I raised my brow as I stepped into the changing room, looking at the whiteboard that showed our shifts. Something had been scribbled through, yet I couldn't decipher the handwriting. _Typical Paul._

My motivation being elsewhere I quickly checked through my weapon belt, clicking it around my hips just a few minutes afterwards. I was glad that I stored my work clothes at home and didn't have to change each and every day in this rather open viewed room.

Stepping in front of the counter finally I was met right away with the person I cursed just a handful moments ago, colleague Richter.

"Hey hey, Mo!" he greeted, I wondered where his enthusiasm this early in the morning came from.

"Good morning, goat." I raised my brows at him, receiving a chuckle.

"Get yourself a coffee, you need it." he sent me down the hallway, I shrugged my shoulders. I anyway wanted one so I followed his advice, passing the few offices we had while greeting the other colleagues on shift.

I blinked as I stood in the doorway to the kitchen, only slowly realizing who stood in front of me.

"Morning, little one." the familiar voice of my boyfriend himself spoke to me and I couldn't help myself to be shamelessly gay for him and run into his arms.

"I talked the boss down so many times until he finally switched my shifts with those of Florian. I couldn't stand working opposite to you for a whole month." Arne chuckled as he held me tight, I was blushing deeply red. It felt so incredibly good to finally be open about our relationship.

"You're ridiculous." I laughed, looking at him while making our noses touch.

"I know. You chose me and now you have to handle me." he replied and gave me a kiss that I would remember for the whole next 10 hours at work, even if I had been on patrol with Paul.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, so this is yet another Brother AU where Moritz from AS and Linus from ASDS are related, as you might've noticed. I solved the surname-issue with the simple fact that their parents were not married at any point so Moritz is called Breuer and Linus is called Hoffmann.
> 
> Also important note from me, le creator, le writer: Moritz does NOT have euphoria about shooting people, it's NOT about killing people what Moritz had been struggling with for all this time. Moritz could not grasp the thought that guns not always kill, and when he shot the abuser in the leg he realized that guns do not automatically mean death. Moritz would never in his life kill a person with his gun, that's for sure, not even in emergency situations. He can hurt - yes. He would never kill - no.


End file.
